What's your name again?

I have this disease that causes people’s names to leave my brain as soon as I see their face. When I think of a person, I can recall what they look like and immediately remember their name. But when I’m face-to-face with them, it’s like my brain goes blank and the name escapes me. I tried to be brave and conquer this by vowing to purposefully call a person by their name when they speak to me. This should help right? I’ve read that it’s a technique people use to remember new people’s names. Well, not when you have too long of a pause before you say their name and not when your brain gives you the wrong name. A person passing in the hall says, “Hi Christie!”. I say, “Hi - - - - Kkkkathy!” to a Karen. I even tried associations. There’s a guy named Lincoln. So I think, okay – when I see this guy, I have to remember he’s named after a city and a president. I should be able to remember now. I have 2 things to reference him to. So, he comes by and says hello and I want badly to call him Jackson. I know it’s not right, but by the time I try to remember BOTH the place AND the president, too much time has gone by. I've had that person who looks at me blankly everytime we've met like it's the first time and ask me "Who are you, again?" or "Do you work here?". After 5 or 6 times I start to wonder if I'm so forgettable. I don't want to be that person. Plus it seems a little, I dunno, like dementia or something.

I’ve given up. I won’t even try anymore. Save myself the utter embarrassment. It’s not that I don’t know you – I just can’t remember the name that goes with you. So if I see you and you say hi to me, don’t assume I don’t know your name, just remember that I won’t say it. I might know, I might not. No one will be any the wiser.

Maybe I need some kind of trademark hello like a wink and a point so it’s not so obvious. Maybe that suck of air between your teeth that makes the click sound would round it out nicely. I’ll try that.

What's in a name?

Addison is in her trying-out-names phase. Both for herself and for us. Lately, she’s been calling Greg and I “brother” and “sister”. It feels a bit like I’m walking around in a convent or something. And it’s usually just “Brother, can you zip my dress?” or “Sister, can I have a snack?”. Very strange. Yesterday she was telling me that daddy was her brother and I was her sister, so just to see what she would do I said, “Are you my brother then?”. She looked at me like I was the dumbest person in the world and basically chastised me for being so ridiculous. I got a lecture on how only girls can be sisters and only boys can be brothers. DUH! As for herself, she will announce on her way to daycare that she is no longer “Addison”. A few times she has tried on the name Kathleen. Sometimes she makes up a name that sounds kind of German or Russian…lots of hard consonants. I could never repeat it because I can barely understand it. Forget about spelling it. I’m sure it’s short of vowels. Sometimes she will have a secret name that no one can know. This makes it very hard to ask her to do anything because I never know her secret name. It’s a secret after all. Once or twice she has called us by our proper names. It’s very weird to be called my name by a small child, especially when it’s your own. I understand when people will introduce adults to children as Ms. FirstName or Mr. FirstName. I would hate to be called Mrs. Linard. Nobody calls me that. Calling me by my first name is just a little too casual for a child though. Kind of funny when it’s my kid. She’s so serious when she does it. I swear something possesses her from time to time.




Names are a strange thing. There is so much meaning behind a name and how you address someone, but it’s really just a name, right? Why is it so complicated? There are rules about addressing letters and envelopes. Other rules about addressing people in authority positions. Rules about how you address people you know well and don’t know well. And it’s so easy to offend if you choose the wrong one. Wouldn’t it just be easier if we called each other by our given names? Who decided we needed to add a Mr. or Mrs., or Doctor or Judge? We live in a weird world.