Monday, October 12, 2009

The Yard Sale Diaries



So, you meet interesting people when you have a yard sale. Since having 2 yard sales in the span of about a month, we made over $500. The remarkable thing (not just that we made pretty good money) was that we had everything priced for $1. Some things were 2 for $1 and if you were nice, I might make you a deal even more than that. This means I have a lot of stuff. I have so much stuff that we could easily have another yard sale and perhaps make a few hundred more dollars. It’s absurd really. Granted, we had a few things in the side yard that were a little more, but not much. But that’s not the most interesting part of all. The most interesting are the people. You meet stupid people (lots of those, in fact), lonely people, people who will talk about anything – which could also fall in the previous category, people who will haggle over $1, people who want to be your friend (these are the scariest of all), and your neighbors. I think the latter makes me most uncomfortable. Not sure why. Perhaps it’s because we’re not very close with any of our neighbors. We don’t stand around and chitty chat at the fence or anything. I don’t think much of that goes on anymore. I think I feel like they are just scoping out my stuff and I feel a little guilty about them buying my things. It’s weird to know that my neighbor is touching things were mine. Voyeuristic in a way. I dunno.

The lonely people and the people who talk too much are the most painful. We had one guy who came over a few times with his wife and while his wife perused my vast selection of junk, he felt the need to engage me in conversation. This usually resulted in a circular conversation about how cold it was getting and then a loud discussion about “the black running the city of Dayton”. Since I have several neighbors who are black I wanted to shush him, but it wouldn’t have done any good because 10 seconds later he was repeating the same thing he had just said 10 seconds earlier. It was a very uninteresting exchange. FINALLY, they would leave but only after he had to pretend to be put out that he was spending sooo much money on my stuff.

The stupid people aren’t so bad and can be funny but also infuriating. I was approached by one woman who stated she ONLY reads true stories and did I have any? “I don’t want to waste any time reading anything that ain’t true”. Well, who am I to judge. I might be a little more concerned if it were the other way around. I was glad to help and followed her over to the book section to point out which stories were true. I had to convince her that Force Recon is NOT a true story, but “Tuesdays with Morrie” is a true story. She proceeded to have a 5 minute argument with me about why she didn’t think that was a true story. She couldn’t find anything on the jacket that indicated that it was and she’d never heard of it. Well, it’s hard to reason with a person like this. I mean, for $1, can’t you just take a chance? I finally talked her into it (without whipping my iPhone out to Wiki it and prove it once and for all), and a true crime novel as well. ChaCHING!

The people who haggle over $1 are generally not nice all the way around. I did have one guy haggle over a $5 air pump though too. I did not make a sale with him. He asked what the lowest price I would take on it. $3, I said. How about a dollar? I say, “I can’t go that low”. Dummy. I might have if he were nice about it, or maybe buying some other things, but if I wanted to sell the pump for $1, I woulda put it on the other side of the lawn where all the $1 things were! Then there was the guy who wanted to know how he could be assured that the computer processor we had out really worked. Um, it’s a GARAGE SALE, not frickin’ Big Lots, dude. You take your chances. One woman offered me $1.50 for $2.00 worth of clothes and then bought a $10 Pack-N-Play too. Really? You HAD to keep that .50? I think sometimes people haggle just to haggle.

I have to mention I’ve made some frequent shopper friends as well. One woman came 3 times in one weekend. Poor thing had recovered from a brain tumor and had to ride her bike to my house because her abusive boyfriend refused to drive her anymore. The second day she came she had band-aids on her knees, so I asked her about it. She says because of the brain tumor her depth perception is impaired so she sometimes runs her bike into poles…then falls off her bike. Seriously? I wanted to give her my car. I tried to give her extra things like clothes and bags and things that she wanted but didn’t have enough dollars for, but she refused to take them saying “you’ll never make any money if I take all your things.” Another frequent shopper just came every day to see if I had anything new. She seemed truly delighted and snatched up a few things excitedly. I like that. I like when I hear people call their friends and say “I found this really great yard sale, you have to come!” I don’t like the people who just drive slowly by and don’t take the time to get out of their car to see my nifties up close and personal. You can’t win them all I guess.

All in all it was a success and I tried not to be offended when someone didn’t want to pay a full dollar for my treasures. I think I succeeded. Can’t wait to see who comes to the next sale!

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