The Profoundness of Changes

It's always funny how everything has such profound meaning when you're making a big change. Friday was my last day at my current job. I've been there 13 1/2 years. That's a long time. It was rough and a little strange. I could feel my sadness coming on in my gut and it would only take someone simply asking how the day was going for me to completely fall apart. It was pretty ridiculous. I mean, how many people get emotional over the last time they may ever see that vending machine. Remember how it was before they switched to this one? And the water dispenser. I remember the days before we had the water dispenser. It was my friend while I was pregnant since I had to drink so much water. Ah, good old water dispenser machine. They probably won't have one like it where I'm going.

On my way to the going-away party my friends were having for me, I listened to my iPod to try to get my mind off things. All of a sudden, the words which I don't usually pay much attention to (I'm a melody kind of girl) start filling my ears. Uh oh. Here come the waterworks again. Natasha Bedingfield, who does not normally invoke much emotion in me other than the slight bopping she creates with her boppy sound, has made me cry. Here are the lyrics:

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten

I guess when you're paying attention, it starts to make more sense. Now is where my book begins. I've closed one book which was my entire beginning adult life. I made all my major life changes at my (now) previous job. Made all my friends. It was all neatly compacted under one large roof. I lived there...except weekends and evenings, of course, when I had visitations with my own home...but my life was there. My memories were there. Now I'm writing a whole new book. All those beginning things are over. What's in store now? Just living my life? How odd. I guess I'm really an adult now. Isn't that a wake up call. Whew.

Well, I will miss the familiarity. I will miss all my friends. I will miss what my job used to be. I grieved what it was a long time ago. Had moved on emotionally, but was just stuck physically. Now, that physical barrier is gone and I've got a whole new life ahead of me. A frightening prospect, but I guess it's time.

Now my daughter wants me to read "Baby and Friends", so off I go.

"Three little ducklings say quack, quack, quack"...