Facing $10,000

Well, a little more than that actually…but how does one walk away from $10,000. I’ve been wondering that myself for a few days. But as someone who did it, I can tell you. Mind you, if someone was going to give me $10,000 no strings attached, I could do whatever I wanted with it, I think I could do some good and get some killer lipgloss to boot.  That’s probably the harder decision. What to do with that money. But what to do without it? Go on. Move forward. That’s what I’ve been doing. After turning away from it, it doesn’t consume nearly every thought anymore. It’s a memory. Every now and then I think about it now and for a brief nano-second wonder why I did it…then I remember. “Oh yeah. Right…my sanity.” That’s important. More important than $10,000.

I was faced with a decision. Some think it should have been an easy decision. Some may think it would be a hard decision. I found it difficult. Once I came to my decision though, after many discussions in my mind, it all made sense. It could be no other way. Then I felt released.

The decision was about a job. I have a job. I have a lovely job that I searched 2 ½ years ago for. I almost took a job that would have killed me. Maybe the people would have made it okay, but I doubt it. The distance was a challenge and the job – not ideal for me. Then, within days of my considering accepting the offer, I got another call-back. And it was for a different job that I applied for and that I could enjoy! Something I’m good at. Something I can use my own expertise in doing and it was much closer! Bonus since I’ve got a little tot to consider. I was giddy with excitement. This wasn’t going to be so scary. I worked at the same place for more than 12 years. I liked what I did, but the environment wasn’t becoming ideal anymore. I was dragging to work and was crabby. I was unsatisfied and dreaded the next day as much as the last. Not an easy decision to make to start searching for something else and I was naïve about how hard the search was going to be. After casually sending out resumes for ideal jobs for awhile and not getting any calls, I finally got to the point where I was desperate for something to take me away. That’s how I almost took the job I would have hated. It was going to move me backward instead of forward, but I would have taken it. Luckily, that didn’t happen. The perfect job fell right in my lap. It was hard to leave all the people I had worked so long with. They were friends. I’d lived with them a long time…but they were happy for me. After I left, they fell on challenging times themselves and were unable to hire a replacement for me. But my new job, it was better than I expected and I had no regrets.

Fast forward 2 ½ years later…my old job got the money finally to replace me and my old boss was trying to woo me back. Things have changed a bit there in the last few years. Mostly the new CEO with new plans. It was sounding much like the old place before it was poisoned by the previous CEO. Even old co-workers were saying how good things were getting. So, in comes my old boss. She’s offering about $7500 more than what I’m making. She says things are better. Things are looking up. It’s all sunshine and rainbows now. And for a moment, it all sounded good. But, I keep going back to the fact that I wasn’t looking for anything. Things are tough where I am, but not because of the people. It’s the economy. Nothing we’re doing wrong, it’s funding issues. It’s the government and how social service agencies are becoming the dinosaurs that are dying. But, the people make it great. The work makes it great. Even my job has changed. I love what I’m doing. I love who I work with. Leadership is awesome. Why would I leave that? Was $7500 enough to make it worth it? That’s a lot of money to walk away from. I can catch up on things a little easier with that. Bills could maybe get paid off…maybe we wouldn’t be living paycheck to paycheck much longer. But, no. I have it good where I am. I was fortunate to be given this opportunity. Where I came from is chaotic and unpredictable daily. I liked the clients and my co-workers and yes, things sound great and wonderful…but it’s not for me. The job is still the same, the boss is still the same, the problems would still be the same. I have nothing more to learn there. I went as far as I could. So, I said “thanks, but no thanks”. She counter-offers making it $10,000 and I knew in that moment that I had made the right decision. I think I have much to learn from where I am. Being happy and satisfied is worth me giving up $10,000. I don’t know what my future is going to be…I wish I had that talent, but for now – it’s all good. I think we’re destined for great things and I’m ready and willing to ride the ride to get there. My boss is innovative and forward-thinking. If anyone can do it, I believe she can. If it leads me down a different path in the future, so be it, but for right now, I’m where I’m supposed to be.