The Art of Sharing

I took Addison to open gym last week and was very pleased with the way she plays. I think at (almost) 2, kids don't understand the concept of playing together. It seems like they will play near each other, but not with each other. The whole goal at the gym is to "get the toy". They follow each other like busy little bees waiting for the coveted toy to be left behind. Discarded. Tossed aside. It doesn't take long. At the gym Addison goes to it seems that baby dolls, baby buggies, and balls are the hot commodities. Oh, and the kitchen. I watched her get muscled out of playing with the kitchen when a couple of bigger kids took it over. Bullies in the making, I'd say. She didn't seem to be too upset about it. She just moved on to something else. She didn't seem to be too upset about much, but when she was, you definitely knew. Her displeasure is exhibited by jazz hands. Well, not really jazz hands, but she does put her hands up and move them back and forth, similar to jazz hands. You know trouble is brewing when this happens.

My philosophy at the gym is not to intervene unless blood is about to be shed. 2 year olds aren't generally vindictive. They are curious and full of want. The want only lasts until it's in hand, then the goal was acheived and it's no longer interesting. Here's a scenario that unfolded: I watched an older woman approach a little kid who wasn't much older than my own daughter. The woman says to her "you took the dollbaby away from my granddaughter and she was playing with it. Could you please give it back?" Okay, so she said please...but WHAT?! Seriously, you (a very, very big kid) are going to take a doll away from a child because your granddaughter didn't have the cahoonies to hold on to the doll that wasn't ever hers in the first place? Wow. That's gutsy. What kind of a message are you sending to this child? First of all, it seems to me that your granddaughter should be fighting her own battles. Secondly, this little kid that you took the doll back from only remembers that a big old stranger took a doll away from her. She forgot (or didn't care) that she obtained it earlier from an unattended doll stroller. Thirdly, oh yeah...I just saw your granddaughter yank a toy from under the nose of another kid when you weren't watching. Good job grandma. You're giving some valuable lessons there to your indulged little princess. Geez.

An amazing sight was watching my daughter approach a child on a see saw. I moved to the edge of my seat getting ready to back my child off of a kid she knocks off of a toy that she wants to play with...but that didn't happen. She approached the see saw with the boy hanging off one end. She thoughtfully considered the situation for a moment then decided she could sit on the other end. Did I just see that? For a moment I was a bit confused. This was the first show of cooperation to acheive a goal. I was amazed and proud! Is it embarrasing for a child if their parent cries at the gym? Probably. I held it back, but it was a proud moment. Of course then I waited to see if she'd climb off only to cause the poor kid to go slamming to the ground off the back of the see saw, but that didn't happen either. They teetered and tottered for nearly a minute straight. As soon as she made a move to get off another mom helped her down and neither child was worse for wear. Aw! Addison's first cooperative experience. Is there a line for that in the baby book? I think I should write one in.